Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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