maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize