I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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