I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
