Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
