ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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