I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
