...so i touched it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
