I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
