i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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