I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
