this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
