i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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