is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
