dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
