Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize