I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
