I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
