Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Randomize
