i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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