Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
