Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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