if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
