ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just want to make out with him forever
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize