I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize