This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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