lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
