She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
