There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
