My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
