i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize