You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
