I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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