this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
