YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
