made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You smell like stripper and shame
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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