it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Randomize
