What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just puked most of my soul out..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
