I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
