hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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