His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
