I puked a lego.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
