One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
