got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Every concussion has its silver lining
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
