The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
