Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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