He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
this is an emotional support booty call
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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