I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
