Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
