she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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