Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Still dying that you shit outside
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
