P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
