Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
