I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
