There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize