I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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