This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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