hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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