sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
