That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You are a genius and a whore.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
