I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
